After a MAJOR depressive episode and having experienced some of the darkest days of my life, I am currently unemployed, on some helpful medication, and on the road to recovery.
I am over being embarrassed about this illness. I have suffered through countless traumatic experiences many of which a person would be hard pressed to recover from even one of.Through all of it I never took care of ME. It has always been my responsibility (or so I thought) to make sure I stayed strong and didn't fall apart so that everyone else's needs were attended to. The pile finally just got too big for me to handle and it was time to fight my demons head on.
Now that the depressive fog is beginning to lift I have been turning my attention on career pursuits. I need to find what makes my heart happy and my soul sing while still being able to successfully contribute to our family income.
So far Mark has been a champion for me, but I am a realist. I know that as the bank accounts are dwindling, Mark's patience will begin to dwindle as well. The trip to Mexico this spring we had been planning while I was gainfully employed is going to take a miracle in order to happen. But I believe in miracles, and I believe God has great things in store for me in the months and years to come. I am going to work at "jobs" that thrill me and don't kill me.
My newest dream is having a spot at an antique mall. I keep hearing from naysayers that I won't make any money at it. But I cant' listen when my dream is at stake. I'll be cautious, but I can't help it if this is the first "job" that causes me to jump out of bed and makes me anxious for the next day to start.
You can tell me "I TOLD YOU SO" if things don't work out, but for now I am going to be as excited as I want to be about it, and I am going to trust my gut.
May the force be with me (and I'm not even a Star Trek fan).
